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You know, when I attended my own high school graduation, I did so with dreams and plans in mind. I felt I knew exactly how things were supposed to go and was disappointed with how things actually turned out. I did not take into account the fact that when we have our expectations so high, we are bound to be disappointed.

It seemed to me that everything I wanted to happen, either did not happen, or it didn’t happen the way I wanted it to. I was so glad to finally make it to my own high school graduation because of how hard high school was for me. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I could never fit in. The kids, most of them, were so mean to me and I could never make any friends. I did, after a while, manage to make some friends in high school, but none that I would have ever thought would be lifelong friends.

After my high school graduation, I lost contact with everyone that I would have called my friends. I cannot say that they were friends in the true sense of the word. We were a few kids that would hang out at school, maybe afterwards, but not spend time at each other’s homes or anything along those lines. Although I did have friends from another high school, I think it would have been nice to have had friends from my own school as well.

high school graduation gowns seemed so lonely, to be honest. It seemed like no one was there for me. Granted, my mom was there, but, like every other time; my dad was nowhere to be found. It seemed that he had enough on his plate with his other family and that has not changed over the years. I wanted to see a bunch of people cheering for me and happy for me, but the only person who was there in my sea of shining faces was my mom.

My friends did not have time to come, I had no friends at the school I was at and the rest of my family could not be bothered to attend. Sometimes I wished that my high school graduation gowns had truly been a day of celebration, as it should have been. I wished I could have been one of the cheerleaders or even someone from band. I wanted to be that kid that had their own cheering section.  I wanted to be, for once, the popular kid.

I have discovered, since then, that popularity is not all it’s cracked up to be. I have come to terms with the personal disaster I call my high school graduation gowns. At least when I went to my high school reunion, I was able to show off the success I had become. I am now an actress, on Broadway, with a wonderful, loving husband and a wonderful extended family now that supports me.  It seems that even though I had a rough time in high school, college and my life since have treated me well.

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